There has been allot of Internet buzz the past few days about Will Smith’s comments about his and Jada’s marriage agreement. In short everyone is saying they are swingers. Well, I don’t think so, and here is why.
They are not really swingers because based on what Will said they have never had sex with someone else while they’ve been married to each other. They just have an understanding that it is natural human nature to desire other people sexually and that doesn’t mean that you love them, it just means that you lust them and want to have sex with them and that Will and Jada are honest with each other about it.
I respect them for it because they are honest with each other, and can be honest with each other while at least half the people that are shocked and horrified by Will’s statement are hiding things from their partner, and many of them have, are or will cheat on their partner. Will and Jada have simply made a pact to always be honest with each other and to discuss things like this before they could happen.
That’s light years beyond what most couples do. Instead most couples hide their true feelings, dreams and fantasies from each other because knowledge of such may hurt or anger their partner due to their partner’s personal insecurities. They have set themselves up from day one to not be honest with each other in an attempt to save each others feelings and avoid conflict.
Here is the copy and paste from the article:
‘Our perspective is, you don’t avoid what’s natural and you’re going to be attracted to people,’ Will explains.
‘So sometimes we have the discussion: “Wow, this or that girl is freaking gorgeous”. I’m not going to say anything to my buddies that’s any different than what I say to my wife.’
And Will, 39, reckons he’ll tell Jada – and she’ll tell him – if they ever find they can’t resist their desire.
‘If it came down to it, then one would say to the other: “Look, I need to have sex with somebody. Now I’m not going to do it if you don’t approve of it,”’ he says.
‘In our marriage vows, we didn’t say “forsaking all others”. We said, “You will never hear I did something afterwards”. Because if that happens, the relationship is destroyed.’
But Will’s not sure what he’d do if one day Jada, 38, confides that she does want to take a lover.
‘I don’t know how I’d feel,’ he confesses. ‘But I know I would react better than if I found out about it afterwards.’
You’ll notice that nowhere in there does it say that they have done it, just that they have an understanding that if the opportunity presented itself that they could as long as it’s discussed beforehand.
So I say, “Good for you Will and Jada, you’re a tighter couple than most could ever wish to be.”