I recently listened to Episode 4 of Pedestrian Polyamory’s podcast: All About the Penis – Size DOES Matter. Throughout it Shira B. Katz talks about how she is a size queen except when… Well, there were a number of situations when she is a size queen, but isn’t, such as with oral and anal sex. I can see how different size cocks work better in some scenarios than in others, so I won’t fault her for this thinking. It just makes me think: The lady is a size queen except when she isn’t. Okay, I can dig it.

I personally think cock size has nothing to do with polyamory and more to do with personal preference, casual sex, swinging and cuckolding. However, this got me thinking: Throughout the podcast Shira often refers to “big” cocks and “small” cocks, but never says what she personally considers big or small. Cock size is a very controversial and subjective topic since 7″ might be “big” to one woman and 10″ to another. Conversely, 6″ might be considered a small dick to one woman while another thinks anything less than 4″ is “small”.

So, through this informal and completely unscientific poll I’d like to know what you men and women who like cocks in your mouth, ass and pussy (if you have one) consider “small” or “large”, and what makes someone a “size queen”?

UPDATE: I am assuming length/girth proportionate, so not “long and skinny” or “short and fat”. I thought about adding girth however the combinations of length/girth would make these questions painfully long and over-complicated.

P.S. I prefer the term “cunt” but was afraid I’d offend some people’s gentle sensibilities.

“You complete me.”

-Tom Cruise as “Jerry Maguire” in Jerry Maguire

 “If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be truly fulfilled.”

-Lao Tzu

This is a fundamental element of all relationships, but even more-so in open relationships such as polyamory.

You cannot look to others to make you whole or to fulfill you. You must be a whole, self-fulfilled person to have a healthy intimate relationship with anyone else. Looking for fulfillment from others is self-sabotaging: eventually they will fall short of your expectations and disappoint you, leading to resentment and unhappiness with them and the relationship.

To have a healthy relationship with someone else, you must first have a healthy relationship with yourself. To be with someone else you must first be okay with being alone. Because only then have you chosen to spend your time and emotional energy on someone else, rather than out of codependency.

When you are okay with being alone because you think you are pretty good company, so will others think you are pretty good company and want to be with you also.

You see figures all over the media about how many people are swingers, polyamorous or have some other form of open relationship. The truth is that all the stats are just educated guesses since many people are very guarded about their relationship type and won’t be honest even if asked in complete anonymity.

From my personal experience and research I’ve found this:

• 1 in 100 couples are active swingers or have some other form of open relationship
• 1 in 4 couples dabble in an open relationship of some type, whether it’s swinging, polyamory, a threesome once in a while or something else.

The simple fact is that open relationships are more common than most would want to admit and more and more people are realizing every day that they don’t have to be monogamous to be in love with each other and happy as society tells them.

Two rules for an open relationship:

1. Respect your partner(s)
2. Safe sex

Everything else just overcomplicates things and sets-up the relationship(s) for hurt feelings and issues.

It always amazes me that men will say things over the Internet to women in swinger, polyamorous, kink and other alternative and open relationships that they would never say to them in person if they were trying to pick them up.  I would love just once to be able to ask them: “Would saying that to a woman at a night club work?”

Here are some cut and pasted lines from emails sent by men on various dating and kink sites to women that I know.  All are real.  Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent women and the stupid men.

Hi. do you want to just fuck? that’s what we are here for right?

Are you kinky enough to like having your ass fucked? if not wanna learn?

How r u doing sexy I would love to get to no u maybe have fun wanna text or chat.

Do you want to practice making babies?

You will tell me more about yourself.

i like profile i not very good ask for friendship. talk to you sometime i will became your friend an fuck

I am all those things you said I should message you if I am, plus I have the best dick around. Too bad I can’t see your boobs would love to cum on them.

I’ll be in town for a couple of nights, Jan 12 and 13. I’d love to have some fun while I’m in town – intersted in a nasty play session?  Have you been trained and used as a throatfuck slut? It is your best cumhole..  Hope to hear from you, and Merry Christmas!

I like your pictures, and you are very intriguing!! I was seeing what you are looking for exactly? Do you have yahoo messenger or an easier way to chat? Are you into younger men? And do you meet other people for play? If so when can you meet? I’ll wear a condom.

Hey… wanna meet? can we go to your house?

I am curious as to why you have no Master?

how is it going I am new here, but have been dominant minded for years. I am looking for someone to let me dominate them and let me see where it goes. I respect boundaries and am completely open minded. I would rather not meet in public. I look forward to hearing from you.

hey , how are you? wanna fuck?

Wow! You have some great pix. I’d love to shoot you sometime. Your beautiful. You need some pixs of your cunt, especially after I’ve drilled and beaten you for an hour or so.

I don’t mean to be rude but u are really pretty and I have this woman friend who wants to have a 3some?

I’d love to meet. Are you interested? If you are, show up at my place gagged. You won’t need to talk.

You’re not polyamorous. No one is. You just haven’t found the right Man/Master to beat the selfish brat out of you. Lets meet and I’ll show You what a real Master is.

Do you have any you’d like to add? If so, please comment below.