With the current political climate of the GOP trying hard as they may to eliminate women’s rights, and slut shaming any woman who stands-up against them, I felt this quote by Erica Jong is most appropriate and sums-up very well the war on women that these arrogant, self-righteous and insecure men:
“The Virgin Mary is a sanitized version of the Mother Goddess – sanitized and fragmented. She is Woman devoid of her sexuality, Woman giving birth without human intercourse, Woman as unbroken hymen, the child-woman, the ideal of the “female eunuch” which Christianity has imposed upon one-half of the human species as the price of their very survival upon this earth… Christianity claims to honor the woman as mother but does not acknowledge her power to give life. Thus Woman is doomed to live in a double bind which is at once psychological and physical: she is damned for doing the very thing that keeps the race alive. Man, for his part, is damned for partaking of that guilty sexuality, and doomed to wander the world turning virgins into whores, then cursing his fate in having no true mate to love.”
I’m sure this is going to be an ongoing theme with this blog, so I’ve even given it it’s own category.
This is from was an article called “Does Abstinence Turn Men On?” that came across one of my saved Google searches. Don’t ask me why, either because it has nothing to do with my search terms. This quote is by Tiy-E Muhammad, who bills himself as “Professor of Psychology, Consultant Services for Sex Therapy, Family Therapy, Author, and Relationship Therapy”. This is one of the shittiest things I’ve ever heard a “professional” say:
Most men don’t care about whether the sex is good. We’re just concerned about the climax and waiting is okay with us.
I have to disagree, just from the shear number of married-and-wanting-to-cheat men that contact couples on swinger websites. It’s always the same old, worn-out story: “I love my life but she doesn’t like the sex I do and she won’t even entertain it so I’m looking for someone who will.” There are many men who love their wife, but their wife bought into Dr. Tiy-E Muhammad’s thinking and don’t think they need to bring anything to the table except their vagina. It may be what Dr. Tie-E’s readers want to hear, but it’s really shitty advice and that kind of thinking is the road to infidelity for your partner.
Listen: Men care. Women care. Neither wants bad, lackluster or boring sex. Just having a cock or a cunt is not enough to satisfy your partner. Everyone wants their fantasies to be fulfilled, or at least entertained by their partner. And if you are entering into a monogamous relationship where you will be the only person your partner will have sex with from this moment on, you better be willing to be the lover they want, or at least try to be.
One of the most common questions by the media (and misconceptions by general society) about polyamory is the attitude towards marriage that polyamorists hold. You see it in the comment sections of virtually every article or TV segment on polyamory: “If you just want to screw around than why even get married?”
Well how do polyamorists feel about marriage? There are probably as many similarities and differences of feelings and opinions as their are people. So in an effort to sufficiently answer this question for the masses the first ever “Polyamory and Marriage Survey” is being conducted (in conjunction with Robyn Trask and Loving More) by Curt Berstrand, Ph.D., associate professor of sociology at Bellarmine University in Louisville, KY and coauthor of “Swinging In America: Sex, Love, and Marriage in the 21st Century” and Jim Fleckenstein, B.A., who is a longtime polyamory activist and researcher. He co-founded the Chesapeake Polyamory Network and the Institute for 21st Century Relationships (now the NCSF Foundation) and recently co-edited “What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory”.
The survey is short – it will take you less than five minutes to complete – and can give us and the world some information that may help others understand those that seek ethical non-monogamy as a life and relationship choice.
Melissa Mitchell of Simon Fraser University is conducting a study regarding polyamory relationships. You can take the anonymous poll below and even get the results of the survey by emailing her. Here is what she says:
Are you currently involved in a polyamorous relationship? Would you be interested in a survey about your relationships?
The goal of this research is to increase our understanding of relationships with multiple partners. This survey is open to individuals who have two or more romantic partners; however, you will only be asked to report on two of your relationships. The online survey will take about 20 minutes to complete. This study has been approved by the Simon Fraser University Department of Research Ethics.
This survey is anonymous and you will not be asked any identifying information. You must be 19 years or older to participate.
To participate, go to:
Participation will be open until February 21st, 2012. Please feel free to forward the link to your friends in polyamorous relationships!
Thank you for your participation!
Department of Psychology
Simon Fraser University