In the News 1 comment

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s open relationship didn’t cause their divorce, they did

By on December 12th, 2011

Last Thursday comedian Chelsea Handler, one of Demi Moore’s friends, told Piers Morgan on his CNN show about Demi and Ashton: “I think they probably had a lot of good times with some other women… Clearly they had a lot of threesomes, that led to twosomes without Demi and that leads to a divorce.”

Clearly Ms. Handler lives in an alternate universe where monogamous people never cheat, because that is what she is implying: If they have been monogamous Ashton Kutcher would never had cheated on Demi Moore.

I call bullshit. Cheaters are cheaters regardless of whether or not the relationship is open-ended or closed-ended.

If Ashton Kutcher cheated on Demi Moore it’s because he’s a dick. Nothing more. Open relationship or not Kutcher would have cheated. I don’t know why he cheated if they had an open relationship, but I assume because maybe A) it wasn’t as open as everyone thought and it was easier (less confrontational) for Kutcher to cheat than to ask permission, B) Kutcher couldn’t or wouldn’t follow the ground rules they set, C) he got a bigger thrill from cheating (danger sex) than he did from having permission.

Regardless, Ashton Kutcher betrayed Demi Moore in some manner and that is the reason they are getting divorced. It’s not because they had an open relationship, it’s because of the way the people in the relationship acted. Plain and simple.

Lastly, only they know what really happened. Nobody knows what really goes on inside someone else’s relationship or marriage. You only see what they want you to see. And things like open relationships, polyamory, swinging, etc. are just easy scapegoats for people who don’t want to take responsibility for blowing-up their own relationship, because a constant of the universe is nobody takes responsibility for their own actions until they run-out of other people or things to blame them on.

Sexuality 7 comments

How Big is “Big”? The Penis Poll.

By on November 11th, 2011

I recently listened to Episode 4 of Pedestrian Polyamory’s podcast: All About the Penis – Size DOES Matter. Throughout it Shira B. Katz talks about how she is a size queen except when… Well, there were a number of situations when she is a size queen, but isn’t, such as with oral and anal sex. I can see how different size cocks work better in some scenarios than in others, so I won’t fault her for this thinking. It just makes me think: The lady is a size queen except when she isn’t. Okay, I can dig it.

I personally think cock size has nothing to do with polyamory and more to do with personal preference, casual sex, swinging and cuckolding. However, this got me thinking: Throughout the podcast Shira often refers to “big” cocks and “small” cocks, but never says what she personally considers big or small. Cock size is a very controversial and subjective topic since 7″ might be “big” to one woman and 10″ to another. Conversely, 6″ might be considered a small dick to one woman while another thinks anything less than 4″ is “small”.

So, through this informal and completely unscientific poll I’d like to know what you men and women who like cocks in your mouth, ass and pussy (if you have one) consider “small” or “large”, and what makes someone a “size queen”?

UPDATE: I am assuming length/girth proportionate, so not “long and skinny” or “short and fat”. I thought about adding girth however the combinations of length/girth would make these questions painfully long and over-complicated.

I consider my self a:

View Results

loading How Big is Big? The Penis Poll. Loading ...

What is the minimum length you consider to be a "large cock"?

View Results

loading How Big is Big? The Penis Poll. Loading ...

What is the maximum length you consider to be a "small cock"?

View Results

loading How Big is Big? The Penis Poll. Loading ...

How big a cock is required to be considered a "size queen"?

View Results

loading How Big is Big? The Penis Poll. Loading ...

P.S. I prefer the term “cunt” but was afraid I’d offend some people’s gentle sensibilities.

Polyamory 3 comments

You complete me… NOT.

By on November 4th, 2011

“You complete me.”

-Tom Cruise as “Jerry Maguire” in Jerry Maguire

 “If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be truly fulfilled.”

-Lao Tzu

This is a fundamental element of all relationships, but even more-so in open relationships such as polyamory.

You cannot look to others to make you whole or to fulfill you. You must be a whole, self-fulfilled person to have a healthy intimate relationship with anyone else. Looking for fulfillment from others is self-sabotaging: eventually they will fall short of your expectations and disappoint you, leading to resentment and unhappiness with them and the relationship.

To have a healthy relationship with someone else, you must first have a healthy relationship with yourself. To be with someone else you must first be okay with being alone. Because only then have you chosen to spend your time and emotional energy on someone else, rather than out of codependency.

When you are okay with being alone because you think you are pretty good company, so will others think you are pretty good company and want to be with you also.