Polyamory 2 comments

Why is it hard to find a polyamory-minded partner?

By on February 12th, 2011

I’m finding it hard to find anyone to complete my relationship so I’m feeling kinda like I got a hole. They either wanna screw everything that walks (which is fine, but not want we want) or be monogamous (yuck! icon smile Why is it hard to find a polyamory minded partner? Women suck! Any luck in your life?

You have run into what is commonly referred to as “polyfuckery”, those that use polyamory as a way to justify to themselves their fucking around. That’s fine, but they shouldn’t be using polyamorous people who want to develop deeper bonds just to get their rocks off.

The other side is the “cowboys” and “cowgirls” who want to lasso a self-identified polyamorous person and make them monogamous. At least for a little while, and they really don’t have any intention of being monogamous themselves, they just want you to be.

My advice: 1) Fish where the fish are. Don’t look in the mono-world for someone to bring into a polyamorous relationship. Sometimes it works, usually it doesn’t. 2) Be up-front from the very beginning about what you want and your beliefs on love, sex and life, and if someone else tries to change any of those beliefs confront the issue quickly (don’t let it drag on and resent them for your silence on the matter) and if things don’t look like they can’t be resolved, cut bait and start again.

There are plenty of people for you out there, you just have to be patient and enjoy the ride.

Ask me anything about polyamory, swinging or open relationships

BDSM, Polyamory 1 comment

A blog post from a friend about polyamory

By on February 11th, 2011

This is a post about polyamory from a friend and fellow panel-member on the DungeonPlace.com podcast. I hope you enjoy it.

I can feel the capacity to be poly inside me. I don’t need to be monogamous to be happy. The relationship with my Alpha still feels new and exciting. It still is, really. I’ve only been collared for about five months. But I feel that if someone else came into my life, I would be able to handle both relationships and be happy.

Read the rest of her post here: Adventures of a Little Monster

Polyamory 2 comments

Focus on the Family’s misguided “focus” on polyamory

By on February 10th, 2011

The freaks over at Focus on the Family have this to say about polyamory:

This nebulous, free-for-all model of the family looms ahead for our society unless a bulwark is created in the form of a constitutional amendment protecting marriage…

I have to point this out:

There is an estimated 500,000 polyamorous people in the United States out of 246,000,000 adults.  It’s a conservative estimate that 35% of people in monogamous relationships cheat, or 86,100,000.

Knowing this it would seem that 86.1 million (or more) cheating spouses/partners is a much bigger threat to “traditional” marriage than half a million polyamorous people.

Maybe Focus on the Family should sweep the snow of their porch before they worry about the snow on other’s porches.