and David Lee

Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody’s pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry

– Don Henley in Dirty Laundry

I’m sure most anyone in the kink and polyamory communities have by now heard of the University of Northern Virginia ICE raid looking for evidence that the school was using visa loopholes to help immigrants stay in the U.S. When ICE didn’t find anything damning in that regard, but found BDSM and polyamory information and websites on the Chancellor of the university’s personal computer they released that information as part of the investigation and picked-up on it right away, I assume creating a fake profile on, finding David Lee and his wife’s profile there and releasing it to the public in a sex-shaming story.

I don’t know how someone’s personal sex life has anything to do with illegal immigration, but I’m sure the information found on his computer had to be reported in the ICE’s documents filed with the courts, which some bottom-feeder “journalist” at picked-up on from a court docket and decided someone else’s sex life would make good news. Or at least more titillating news than the possible immigrant visa violations.

I think if someone is to report on someone else’s sex life, their sex life should also be open to public scrutiny. It’s only fair. As W. Somerset Maugham once said: “There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.”

This is yet another good lesson in taking appropriate steps to keep your private life private, especially if it is anything outside of one man, one woman missionary style sex for procreation purposes while she stares at the ceiling memorizing tomorrow’s grocery list. And even more so if you are anything more than a office drone at a local plumbing company.