Polyamory and BDSM pick-up lines that just don’t work

It always amazes me that men will say things over the Internet to women in swinger, polyamorous, kink and other alternative and open relationships that they would never say to them in person if they were trying to pick them up.  I would love just once to be able to ask them: “Would saying that to a woman at a night club work?”

Here are some cut and pasted lines from emails sent by men on various dating and kink sites to women that I know.  All are real.  Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent women and the stupid men.

Hi. do you want to just fuck? that’s what we are here for right?

Are you kinky enough to like having your ass fucked? if not wanna learn?

How r u doing sexy I would love to get to no u maybe have fun wanna text or chat.

Do you want to practice making babies?

You will tell me more about yourself.

i like profile i not very good ask for friendship. talk to you sometime i will became your friend an fuck

I am all those things you said I should message you if I am, plus I have the best dick around. Too bad I can’t see your boobs would love to cum on them.

I’ll be in town for a couple of nights, Jan 12 and 13. I’d love to have some fun while I’m in town – intersted in a nasty play session?  Have you been trained and used as a throatfuck slut? It is your best cumhole..  Hope to hear from you, and Merry Christmas!

I like your pictures, and you are very intriguing!! I was seeing what you are looking for exactly? Do you have yahoo messenger or an easier way to chat? Are you into younger men? And do you meet other people for play? If so when can you meet? I’ll wear a condom.

Hey… wanna meet? can we go to your house?

I am curious as to why you have no Master?

how is it going 😉 I am new here, but have been dominant minded for years. I am looking for someone to let me dominate them and let me see where it goes. I respect boundaries and am completely open minded. I would rather not meet in public. I look forward to hearing from you.

hey , how are you? wanna fuck?

Wow! You have some great pix. I’d love to shoot you sometime. Your beautiful. You need some pixs of your cunt, especially after I’ve drilled and beaten you for an hour or so.

I don’t mean to be rude but u are really pretty and I have this woman friend who wants to have a 3some?

I’d love to meet. Are you interested? If you are, show up at my place gagged. You won’t need to talk.

You’re not polyamorous. No one is. You just haven’t found the right Man/Master to beat the selfish brat out of you. Lets meet and I’ll show You what a real Master is.

Do you have any you’d like to add? If so, please comment below.

  • “Have you been trained and used as a throatfuck slut? It is your best cumhole.. Hope to hear from you, and Merry Christmas!”

    Ah me, I NEEDED that laugh.