Why is it hard to find a polyamory-minded partner?
I’m finding it hard to find anyone to complete my relationship so I’m feeling kinda like I got a hole. They either wanna screw everything that walks (which is fine, but not want we want) or be monogamous (yuck! 🙂 Women suck! Any luck in your life?
You have run into what is commonly referred to as “polyfuckery”, those that use polyamory as a way to justify to themselves their fucking around. That’s fine, but they shouldn’t be using polyamorous people who want to develop deeper bonds just to get their rocks off.
The other side is the “cowboys” and “cowgirls” who want to lasso a self-identified polyamorous person and make them monogamous. At least for a little while, and they really don’t have any intention of being monogamous themselves, they just want you to be.
My advice: 1) Fish where the fish are. Don’t look in the mono-world for someone to bring into a polyamorous relationship. Sometimes it works, usually it doesn’t. 2) Be up-front from the very beginning about what you want and your beliefs on love, sex and life, and if someone else tries to change any of those beliefs confront the issue quickly (don’t let it drag on and resent them for your silence on the matter) and if things don’t look like they can’t be resolved, cut bait and start again.
There are plenty of people for you out there, you just have to be patient and enjoy the ride.