The problem with “kink”

The new Rihanna video and the ensuing backlash has me thinking: The problem with the label “kink” is that 1) Everyone has some sort of kink, and 2) What you’re doing is always “normal” and what others are doing is “kink”.

  • Oh god yes. I’m hugely uncomfortable with the term ‘kink’ because I can’t quite get my head around the whole “this is ‘normal’ but that’s ‘perverted'” thing. As long as it’s consensual, whatever works for you is whatever works for you. I can’t think of anything I would personally call ‘kinky’. I prefer the word ‘interesting’, or even ‘unusual’ if you must be all special about it, but the ‘ooh naughty’ implication that ‘kink’ carries just bugs me.