Jealous of an old relationship

A new level in jealousy.  I woke-up Monday morning to several text messages sent to me overnight from the boyfriend of a lover from fourteen years ago, accusing me of having an affair with her today.  You read that right… We were screwing fourteen years ago and he’s absolutely certain it’s today.

To clarify things a little, we were second grade sweethearts, then we both moved in third grade and happened to run into each other again in our senior year of high school and we started dating and doing what nature tells teenagers to do.  That was 1982.  We drifted apart and both ended-up marrying other people.  Then in 1997 we were hooking-up after I got divorced from my first wife.  Then I met Lucretia McEvil and we went our own ways, but always stayed in touch.  The last time I saw her was in about 2003 and we went to lunch.

Since then our relationship has consisted of nothing more than a phone call and the occasional text messages.

He sent several more text messages throughout the day trying to persuade me to meet with her and him to “talk calmly in a public place”.  I just responded each time with a “No, there is nothing to talk about, we haven’t seen each other in person in over eight years.

On Tuesday he sent me a message that said since I was unwilling to meet with him to discuss this that he is going to speak to my lady.  What?  Umm… Okay.

Hopefully this goes no further and I never hear from him again.

  • TheCatzMeow

    I personally don’t think I would classify that as jealousy… that right there is something else all together.

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  • yes, but which lady? 😉

  • The guy is a schmuck and I feel sorry for her. He will make it hard on her if he believes this.

  • I agree, this doesn’t sound like jealousy but serious insecurities. There is obviously something going on in his relationship and he’s grasping at straws here. Perhaps it’s all in his head or his girl is giving him reason to be suspicious. Either way, it’s no fun. If he’s wrong, his going to push his girl away with all these accusations. I hope they manage to work things out without having to involve you in this mess.

  • Reminds me of an ex who found out I’d hooked up with a friend of his after we broke up *five years* after all of it happened. He called repeatedly and then, when I wouldn’t respond, started texting me about it. We were both married to other people by then. In this case (and judging from my experience) this is massive insecurity, not jealousy per se. You were right to refuse to engage.

  • Joreth

    Jealousy *is* insecurity.  It’s a composite emotion based on feeling insecure about yourself and/or in your relationship and it’s a set of behaviours that stem from that insecurity.

    Your friend has serious problems ahead of her with this guy, but there’s nothing you can do about it.  I’m often awakened in the middle of the night by jealous girlfriends demanding to know who I am and what kind of relationship I have to their husbands or boyfriends.  I once had a psycho bitch from hell call *my parents*, screaming that I leave “her man” alone – a guy I hadn’t seen in years and who I was relieved that he finally found a girlfriend and would stop pestering me.

    I think some people like drama in their lives.  I can’t understand why anyone would put up with this shit unless they did.  I’m told by some that jealousy is proof of love because he wouldn’t be jealous if he didn’t love her.  That’s some seriously fucked up shit right there.

  • They’ve actually been a couple for five years or so. This just came-up recently. He’s always known about our friendship, but it was put on the back burner to nurture his insecurities for the past five or six years. 

    She did take care of finally. She kicked him out of her house. He stole her SUV, which was found destroyed nearly 200  miles away. He had also taken-out an insurance policy in his name on it the week before it disappeared. She currently has a restraining order on him, but he’s not leaving her alone. I think he’ll be going to jail, hopefully soon and hopefully she will not be harmed.