When do you lose your virginity? – From Formspring

Q. In your opinion, which of the following counts as losing your virginity? handjobs/fingerbanging, oral, anal, vaginal, all of the above (I ask because I’ve heard some pretty peculiar takes on this issue.)

A. This is a difficult topic to define because the general consensus is that penetrative, male/female sex is how you lose your virginity. But where does that leave lesbians? They definitely aren’t virgins.

My personal opinion is: It doesn’t matter. Virginity is overly-prized and overvalued in our society. I don’t think any other animal besides humans give a rat’s ass about virginity. Virginity is just another way to classify people (for good or bad) and to worship or despise them for it.

Teenagers laugh at someone that is a virgin. Some adult men prize a virgin woman. Some people feel a woman who has had sex with more men than the one she lost her virginity to is “dirty” and a “slut”.

But none of that removes the importance and and emotions one feels toward the person they lose their virginity to. It is a big thing in a young person’s life. And only each individual can decide, based on their emotions about the experience, when the officially lost their virginity.

So for that reason I defer to the individual to decide when, where and with whom they lost their virginity, for that is the only definition that really should matter to anyone.

Ask me anything about polyamory, swinging or open relationships