Defining Compersion

“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own…” ~ Robert Heinlein

Today I came across Anita Wagner’s new blog post about about the etymology of the word “compersion” and it got me thinking I’d never really looked into it myself.  Anita came-up with some good ideas as well as referencing Franklin Veaux’s definition.

CompersionBut I found something different:

According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, “Comper” is from the Middle French word “Compeer” meaning “to be equal of “, and “-ion”, which can mean “a state or condition”.

The state or condition of being equal to each other.

To me this means feeling a state of equality between your partner and yourself.  The the joy you feel for your partner when they have entered a new relationship is the same as you would feel for yourself if it were you starting an exciting, new relationship.

It could also mean being in a state of equality between all three or more partners, that no one person (or their feelings) is any more or any less important than another.

There are many angles to look at here and I think this is going to be an ongoing topic here.

  • Great topic, thank you~

    I can relate. I know I feel excitement when J or J meet someone new. I love hearing the excitement in his voice as he talks about them, I in turn feel the excitement. I also feel the heartbreak when things are not going well.

    Either positive or negative, as the relationships grow, I develop feelings and compassion for those J or J care for.

    On a personal note for me, I do not think that compersion is limited to romantic relationships.

    Thanks again ~

  • Equality and compassion is key to a lasting relationship. In the early stages of dating, some people give their significant others healthy doses of these two elements. As time wears on, the worked get pushed to the wayside.

    Here is where the problem begins and the partnership disintegrates. So, other relationship maintains the homeostasis of a relationship. Rather than be discontented over your partners new happiness embrace it. After all, their happiness is yours.