Perceptions of Polygamy

It’s amazing the number of “experts” there are on polygamy. The new TLC series “Sister Wives” has brought them out in droves. Here’s my thoughts on a few of them.

This Internet tabloid article about TLC’s Sister Wives and the comments of their “expert” on polygamy deserve a response.  The “expert” is 77-year old John Llewellyn, a former Salt Lake County Sheriff deputy and polygamist (and from his comments a junior misogynist) himself. Here’s what he has to say:

In 1994 all of my wives left me except for one. I’m now married monogamously and I can tell you life is a lot more smooth. It’s not easy being married to more than one woman, especially if they’ve got any spunk or spirit to them. You’re constantly having to reassure them that they are loved.

Well, if not just one but all your wives leave you I’d have to believe it has more to do with you than the situation.  Comments like “It’s not easy being married to more than one woman, especially if they’ve got any spunk to them” shows your beliefs about women; that they should be reverent and submissive.  If they were a secure person they wouldn’t need constant reassurance. Being told is one thing, having to constantly be reassured is another issue altogether.

It’s a hard life to live, I’d say you’re better off having a mistress than plural wives.

Wow, how a person who promotes cheating over honest, consensual plural relationships can have any credibility as an “expert” is beyond me.

… jealousy is a huge factor.

And it isn’t in monogamist relationships? I know women that won’t even let their husband read Playboy. I know men that record the mileage on their wife’s car everyday and know exactly how far it is to everywhere their wife says they are going that day – and there aren’t even other people in the picture with these couples, it’s just the fear that there could be. We won’t even go into all the “crimes of passion” where one person kills another for cheating on them. That rarely if ever happens in a polygamist or polyamorous situation.

There isn’t a plural family that didn’t have a lot of internal domestic problems; jealousy is a huge factor. It’s all about power, money, sex and ego. A man wouldn’t be normal if his ego wasn’t inflated by having multiple wives. A lot of polygamist men are narcissists and that’s what appears to be Kody’s motivation.

Isn’t a plural family that doesn’t have a lot of internal domestic problems, eh? Given that over 50% of monogamous marriages fail I’d say there is plenty of domestic problems and strife there, also.  I’ve always held that you can’t truly see inside someone else’s relationship. You only see what they want you to see.

Power? Money? Sex? Ego? Narcissism? I’d say most men are predisposed to those. Everything in a man’s life, from the moment he’s born is about being the most powerful, the richest and conquering the most women. It’s rare the man that overcomes these negative mannerisms.  Again, these are not the characteristics of a man in plural relationships, these are characteristics of most men. In fact the past couple boyfriends of my oldest daughter are all of these and insanely jealous, also.

New York family attorney Vikki Ziegler goes on to say:

Polygamy is rarely prosecuted unless children are being harmed, but clearly polygamy is a crime and it’s being exploited. It’s a risky move for TLC to air this show knowing he is committing a crime, because the US Supreme court sees it as a crime.

In Utah so is sex between any unmarried people (Utah Code 76-7-104: Fornication) and adultery (Utah Code 76-7-103), however these are rarely prosecuted unless a jilted spouse brings them up in a divorce case. Hell, if they were 80% of Utahans have or currently are breaking the law.

Constitutional law expert and law professor Jonathan Turley has taken-on the Brown’s case.  The State of Utah has long known of the Browns, but has never investigated before now. In fact, Christine has been an intermediary for polygamist matters with the State Attorney General’s Office. Between not investigating them before and the fact that Utah doesn’t enforce some other “offenses against the family” makes this a case of “selective prosecution”, which is of itself illegal in the United States.

I’m sure I’ll have more to say as more “experts” come out of the woodwork. Geraldo Rivera is the next one.

  • Herowner

    As much as I do not care about the issue at hand, I do have to make one statement. To call this selective prosecution is a distortion of the truth. Feel free to double check my statement here:
    http://law.jrank.org/pages/10122/Selective-Prosecution.html

    Clearly polygamy as a whole is illegal, so therefore it becomes hard for the federal prosecutor to direct prosecution so it is exclusively against a particular class of persons. Anyone that has more than one wife qualifies and that hardly constitutes a particular class of persons. While there is certainly room to argue, selective prosecution cases are extremely hard to prove so it would not be a valid defence on the first place.

    In Canada having anal sex with a third person present in the room is illegal. The fact that it does not get usually prosecuted does not change the fact that a court of law most likely would find you guilty if someone brought it before that court and proved that you had anal sex with a third person present.

  • Demoiselle

    The reason why two of the three wives left John Llewellyn had nothing to do with his personality. I happen to know the man and he is a complete gentleman and an advocate for women’s rights.
    Those women left him because he left the Mormon cult he was a member of – called the Apostolic United Brethren (Allred Group or AUB) after he discovered corruption in the group and exposed it. The leader of the group then instructed all three women to leave John. Two left John, one refused to leave John, and departed the AUB with him because she no longer believed in their religious tenets. Before you bash someone, you might want to ascertain the FACTS.

  • @Demoiselle: I would ascertain the facts if they were readily available without excessive digging. I was simply going off of what was in the article, his bio that was linked, his statements about it being better to take a mistress than a second wife and his feelings about women with moxy being hard to handle.

    He may very well be what you said, but from first glance and his statements I have to believe that he is an advocate for women’s rights insofar as they pertain to polygamy. His viewpoint regarding women’s rights as a whole has yet to be seen by me.

    @Herowner: I see your point in your article, an this begs the question from me: If they tack-on such charges as adultery and fornication are they not selectively prosecuting then? Also, why haven’t they investigated Kody Brown until now being as he’s been in a plural marriage for over 15 years and the authorities have known about it?

    The answer to that Kody and his family have broken the unwritten law in Utah: It’s okay to be a polygamist, just don’t embarrass the State and go public with it.

    Luckily for the Browns, the State AG has shown little interest in prosecuting them. The Lehi Police Department is the issue at hand since they are the ones spearheading the investigation.

  • Demoiselle

    There is readily available information about him. He has a blog and you could have asked him directly – which you did not do.

  • @Demoiselle: I would recommend that Mr. Llewellyn do the same before accusing Kody of being an egomaniac that’s driven by money, sex and power. By default he’s saying those like me in the polyamorous lifestyle “suffer” from the same personality traits because I have more than one woman in my life. He’s obviously making as much a face-value judgement of Kody (and others) as I am of him.

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