How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship

Couple arguingSomething that isn’t talked about a lot in open relationships and BDSM is the possibility and occurrence of manipulative and controlling partners.  Polyamory, other open relationship styles and BDSM are especially susceptible to people who’s intentions are not among the purest because of the compassionate and loving nature of people in open relationships and the Dominant/submissive nature of BDSM.  And it’s not because these people love their partners sooooo much.  It’s because these kinds of people get satisfaction from the manipulation and control of other people.  It’s how they feed the black holes of their own insecurity and low self-esteem.  The problem is identifying these people from the outset because they can be so charming and attentive and interesting.  But as a relationship progresses the manipulation and control take-over, making the object of their attention miserable as well as everyone around that person.

I came across this great article on wikiHow today about manipulative and controlling people in romantic relationships.  I recommend it to anyone currently in a relationship, multiple relationships or thinking about getting into multiple relationships.  Recognizing the warning signs early can save a lot of pain and heartbreak in the future.

As your relationship with a new person in your life has developed, you find your old friends falling away, while family members remark on how you don’t seem like yourself. Are you losing yourself to an odd, and ultimately destructive, relationship? Before you can regain your individuality and strength, you’ll need to determine if the relationship is taking something away, and, if so, put an end to the destructive cycle. While the steps are directed towards romantic relationships, they do apply to any kind of relationship.

Read the whole article here: How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship – wikiHow.

Enhanced by Zemanta
  • We should not get confused as BDSM and a manipulative partner are two different things. A manipulative partner gets no sexual gratification from his control which usually stems from low self-confidence and insecurity.

  • You are correct. Many on the outside of the BDSM world see it as a place where women and men with low self-esteem are victimized by manipulating, controlling bullies. They don’t see that BDSM is consensual power exchange in a physically and emotionally safe environment and that you have to be in a good place emotionally to participate.